Bonded: A Father and Son Story

I was watching Countdown With Keith Olbermann with my Dad, (my Pops loves watching TVG and HRTV (which are horse racing and analysis channels), ESPN, NFL TV, MSNBC, CNN and the Disney Channel, (OK, I lied about the last one ))  Anyway, There was a piece on a Twitter page called, “Sh*t My Dad Says.”  It is F*cking hilarious!  The author, (who’s situation mirrors my own), has moved in with his Mom and Dad after a break up.  He decided to post quotes that his father had espoused on Twitter.  Long story short, he now has a following of 1.3 million, (yes million) followers and has written a book.  As his Dad puts it, “YOU, a published writer?..Internet don’t count. Any asshole can throw shit up on there.”  Yes, the son wrote a book about his relationship with his Dad.  To give you the backstory, here are a few quotes from his Pops:

“You seen my cell phone?…What’s it look like? Like two horses fucking. It’s a phone, son. It looks like a phone.”10:44 AM May 3rd via ShitMyDadSays.com

“Fine, let’s take a vote. Who wants fish for dinner?…Yeah, democracy ain’t so fun when it fucks you, huh?”12:04 PM Dec 20th, 2009 via web

“We’re out of Grape Nuts… No, what’s left is for me. Sorry, I should have said “You’re out of Grape Nuts.”10:49 AM Dec 7th, 2009 via web

“The whole world is fueled by bullshit… What? The kid asked me for advice on his science fair project so I’m giving it to him.”1:31 PM Nov 27th, 2009 via web

“Everybody’s broke, so here’s the rule for Christmas this year; if you still shit your pants, you get a present. Otherwise tough shit.”11:27 AM Nov 24th, 2009 via web

This got me thinking of my relationship with my Old Man.  Me and Pops are tight.  I’ve been on my Dad’s hip for as long as I can remember.  My Dad and I have always had a special bond, one that is evident in our entwined histories.

For as early as I can remember, my Dad would take me with him everywhere he went.

Ronny and Me

When I was 11, my Dad took me and my cousin Ronny to the Del Mar race track.  He taught me how to read the Racing Program, how to bet a Quinella, Exacta and Trifecta.  We didn’t have a lot of money back then so I think he gave me 10 bucks, (which at that time was alot of money for my folks).  Ronny had the same wad.  Anyway, I’d been losing my ass all day, (which amounted to about 8 bucks).  My Dad asked if I wanted a part of ticket that would cost me my last 2 bucks.  I remember mulling it over in my mind, “should I keep the 2 bucks and buy some Hubba Bubba and a Coke or bet it with my Pops.  I’d been losing my ass all day and told my Dad, “No, Pops, I don’t want to bet.”  He then turned to Ronny, who immediately accepted the invitation, (by the way, Ronny had won a couple of races).  The horses were approaching the gate.  I remember that sinking feeling that I just may have lost out on a winning bet.  The horses loaded into the gate….and away they go!  Ronny and Dad were watching with amazement as their bet started to materialize; I watched as my stomach sunk with the thought that I had missed out on the thrill of the race.  And down the stretch they come!   The sinking feeling grew equally with the anticipation of the win with Ronny and Dad’s enthusiasm.  Across the finish line they come.  I remember Pops and Ronny jumping up and down celebrating while I stood there, stunned by the fact that I had wimped out on what Churchill may have considered, “my finest hour.” I was heartbroken, jealous, mad, ashamed, and ultimately felt defeated.  My Dad cashed in the ticket and it payed well.  Ronny got something north of 30 bucks, I don’t know how much Pops took down; I’m sure it was more a emotional victory that a monetary one.  But what I hold dear to my heart is that my Dad knew I was hurt by my decision and kicked down 20 bucks to me.  I never questioned his horse selection ever again, even to this day.

Me and Pops with our Better Halves

Yeah, I have a special bond with Pops.  Our relationship isn’t what you might consider, “traditional.”  Me and Pops weren’t the kind of guys who threw a baseball around, we didn’t kick a soccer ball around or threw a football around.  No, he had me in the garage with an old pair of boxing gloves that weighed 2 pounds and we would box.  He took me to the track, to the Elbow Rest, the American Legion and the VFW.  He would take me, when everyone else left their sons at home, to watch the fights at Victor Nieto’s house.  He took me to Aunt Celia’s and Uncle Eddie’s House in Pico Rivera to see the Clooney fight when all the other sons were in bed.  We went to the 84 World Series together.  We took a father/son cruise in the Bahamas with Memo and Dirty Ernie, (how many fellas can say they could hang with their Old Man for 8 days on a cruise?).  Numerous Vegas trips and the ultimate moment in our relationship was when he was my best man at my wedding.

The "Goodfellas"

Under my Dad’s tutelage, I’ve gotten to know all the uncles and my extended “uncles”

Pops and Me

when I was a kid.  We would hang out with the Uncles at the American Legion on Thursdays, none of the other cousins participated in this ritual.  The point is, is that I love my Pops, and my Pops showed me a life, (however unconventional) that was interesting, exciting, fantastic.  I felt like Henry Hill when he worked for the cab stand in Goodfellas.

Today, our relationship is still going strong.  My father has been there with me through good and bad.  The point is, there is no substitute for time with your Dad.  There are those who didn’t have the time to spend time with their with their fathers the way that I did and I would say, be the father, (if the occasion arises) to be the father that you’d want.  This fucking world isn’t fair, but we make the best of what we got.

I’ve been more than lucky to have such a great Pops.  Now he is not perfect, he wouldn’t profess to be, but he is my Pops, and I love him.